8th grade Poetry
I lie in bed wide awake,
With the most painful headache.
I can’t help but overthink.
My eyes are tired; I can’t even blink.
My thoughts are going around in circles.
I try to count every shade of my room’s purples.
I bite my nails,
What if everything fails?
I scratch at my brain,
And I watch the rain.
I can’t help but wonder,
Just for it all to be interrupted by thunder.
I long to find peace deep inside me,
Dreading to hear someone say I’m a failure.
I torture myself with my thoughts,
Pointing out to myself all of my negative spots.
I eat away at myself for not getting that “A,”
Trying to make myself feel okay.
But I feel the ocean of tears,
Forming because of my fears.
What if I’m not good enough?
What if I’m not smart enough?
What if I’m not perfect?
So, I admit I am an addict.
I am a little girl addicted to perfection.
If I fail, I show myself no affection.
So I stay up days and nights,
And I hate myself for having time to dream about the northern lights.
But I admit,
I cannot be the perfect student everyone sees fit.
I am not what everyone expects me to be.
I see in their eyes the disappointment towards me.
I convince myself that I have reached perfection,
And I feed it with constant validation.
Maybe this is bad for me,
But what if I just let it be?